That Ginger Guy

I am feeling rather annoyed and frustrated at the moment. I am finding it hard to contain it in a post however or find the words to describe what I am going though. I will try my best however to tell you about stuff.

Firstly my mother kidney disease has reached the point where she needs to have dialysis and therefore everything all unsettling. I am being forced to tidy up piles of mess in the house that is difficult to clear up which needs to be done apparently before this team that will check the house that its okay for the machine and is clean enough. That is causing me extra stress and the honest truth is I hardly got a spare time as it is. I’m feeling really bad that I can’t just magically sort it out . I need the support of my dad but he isn’t giving me it. I need to do it by next Saturday and I can’t see it happening which is seriously bad.

Her reaching that point have meant that the support that I used to get from her, she no longer have to energy she to give as she wakes up for work, work, and sleep really. This causes a problem for me as I used to solve my issues out by having some of her input but now I am forced to be more independent than I like to be.

Then there is college being a issue again. I am still seriously not finding the lessons / assignments enjoyable. I feel depressed once I finished the day sometimes and its not good. The problem I have that this is the only college that I feel in my area that got a high standard which does that course and I do love the college.  Just not the course. And I heard recently that my previous radio teacher won’t be teaching me this year. It was one of the only things keeping me going. And instead radio will be taught by the tutor that teaches nearly every lesson I have. He doesn’t have any experience with  radio and he just be reading it all from book really. What is the point with that?

My day was really shite as well today. I woke up the time that the first lesson started and had to rush to college after managing to get a lift from my dad who had to take time off his work. Then when I arrived the presentations finished which I needed to do myself and didn’t get told by the tutor whats happening now with that. Then they had a screening of music videos. They promised me on the meeting I had with them that they wouldn’t show my work unless I asked them to. So that promise was broken and I was really angry when I left that I had to have a long walk to calm down. Felt like leaving the course then. Then it turned out that I didn’t need to attend after all as the lesson I was supposed to be doing editing, was just a catch up session. So I walked home after that, not archiving anything by rushing to the college and feeling annoyed and pissed off. It was raining heavily aswell which didn’t improve my mood.