Posted 18 Feb 2010 — by eddieh
Category Life
I posted this on my Tumblr first and decided that it suited my blog as well. I also like to say that I am sory that I havent been spending much time on here.
Before you get annoyed with this post, I haven’t wrote thinking that I know it all, I just want to note it down for myself for when I am feeling negative again at college. I just hope you realise it depression bringing you down and you just blaming things such as assignments or people in your course. I need to remind myself that I was going though a period that one day I really loved everybody and the next I hated everyone and thought everyone was ignoring me. Anyway..
Two weeks ago was the first time that teachers yelled their heads off at me at the college which was a shock to me. Whilst I don’t approve one of the methods that was classifed as bullying (that the tutor, no surprise being rather friendly from now on), the other methods that didn’t involve attacking or forcing me to write stuff really did make me smell the coffee and somehow was the first step getting me out of this negative and depressing world that I was in.
On the day was a terrible day for me and I was in shock on what happened. I was posting on Facebook statuses that was very woe to me. And I thought that I messed up and couldn’t get back on track. But I went to Disneyland Paris and without intending to, I let go of my negativity there, I also made a promise to myself that I could do this. Every night, I was slightly kept up by thinking how I could do the assignments and when.
And now in the present, its half term and somehow I am up to date with everything. Now even though all the assignments somehow are finished doesn’t mean everything swell for me.
I am dreading doing English when I return back. I fucked it up three times now. Last time was more gutting as I was so close. I hope I can find something in me to get this grade. I know that everyone is judging me and having their eyes me on about this. If I fuck it up again, I will sadden loads including myself. It doesnt help knowing that they are shoving me into a overcrowded group due to the peaceful one not suiting my timetable. I hope things go okay.
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Posted 11 Feb 2010 — by eddieh
Category Life
Sometimes when I am walking on the path like normal human being because I am going back home or going to college, often vans and sometimes cars hoot their horn at me. I swear it got something to do with my hair being the colour that it is because like I mentioned, I walk like anybody else does and I am doing nothing wrong minding my own.
I could understand it if I was crossing the road and didn’t see that something was approaching me or that I was walking on the road being a hazard but it wasn’t the case. It doesn’t upset me but I feel reminded of the fact my hair is the colour it is. I dislike any type of discrimination and feel like it will be a ever going battle for me due to my hair and sexuality which both things I havn’t chosen. I wouldn’t change it for anyone though, I am who I am and not some fake somebody in denial.
I sometimes get asked if I would dye my hair. I haven’t got a chip on my shoulder about my hair so why would I? Why would I set up a blog named That Ginger Guy, if I didn’t want to say to others about my hair?
My first memory of having a van going past beeping their horn and laughing was when I was in year 10 way back in school, and I was waiting for a lift and as I knew it would be sometime, arranged for the lift to be outside the school town swimming and gym centre. I popped outside for a brief moment to see if the car arrived yet and a group of tossers went past smirking, beeping their horn, and sticking their fingers up. Nice.
Actually in future, I will just put it down that they are a fan of my blog and beeping to show their support. 
Posted 03 Feb 2010 — by eddieh
Category Life
I had rather slow day and didn’t start very well. I woke up on time and got a bath running to go back to sleep. I woke up realising that the bath was running and managed to get it just before it overflowed. I had a bath and it took me forever to get washed and out of it. I had the task of finding my key to lock the house up with and took me forever to notice it was on my bedroom floor. Once I dashed to have toast and water, it was time to walk to college. Its a forty minute walk and it was twenty minutes till my lesson started. So I booted my laptop up and sent a email. That meant I didnt get in trouble for turning up late.
When I went to the lesson I noticed that hardly anyone turned up. I connect this to the fact that the couple in my class broke up the night before and nearly everyone was bunking to avoid having a awkward situation. I didn’t think that happened, I just got blanked out by quite a few people throughout the day which made break times so fantastic. I should of spent them doing assignments really but I just didn’t feel like it. I rather enjoyed film studies which was a first for me and I was one of the only people answering during the lesson. I getting to understand it now that there ain’t words that I can’t get my head around. I’m quite excited to doing the assignment for it. I havent worked out what it will be though but I feel I will be able to get good grades in this subject.
I rather glad that the college is taking action against the bullying that happened last Monday (the one before Disneyland Paris). I can’t mention much about it on here but basically a tutor on my course forced me to write a letter which sounds not as bad than it was as other stuff happened which can’t be mentioned. I really broke down after the morning was finished. Ever felt so low that when you cross the road, you are tempted to walking in front of a car? I had that temptation the whole journey home. I rather glad that Disneyland Paris happened as I better than I been for weeks.
Juggle Juggle or there will be trouble. I have various assignments going on right now and currently having to spend all my time doing them. I am spending some of my break from assignments writing this blog post.