Today went better than I expected it to go. I actually managed to wake up on time, have a quick wash, ate breakfast and then preceded to get to college with a bit time to spare. I was really chuffed as I haven’t been that great with mornings recently, to be fair I was starting to loathe them as. But yeah, it did help that I was okay with the radio drama for a change. Don’t get me wrong, I still have the same negative feelings about the course which includes the annoyance that they axed the radio lessons I preformed well in. The last meeting I had with them haven’t improved things for me.
What did I do in the Radio drama lesson you may be asking? In this session we recorded the group that is doing a radio drama to put in a seriously simple terms, about a fight over breakfast cereal. I think its rather well written and its amusing as it have loads of comedy as it have well known TV and Film characters in it. The set up for recording the radio dramas is abit like a live tv set up where there is two different rooms. One room for the studio and the other room to do stuff with the output. We had a camera and the microphones feeding to the room I was in as they was plugged into the snake (a extension lead for video/audio really). We could give them directions to what to do with the talk back headset. It was good fun for me however my neck hurt as I kept having to look over my shoulder to see the telly as the computer was facing a different wall. Why you need to look at both things you may ask? Cause I had no script downstairs so I needed to see who was preforming so I knew what levels I need to play with.
Abingdon at pace (took by me)
Lets start with last night to explain what I am talking about.I am finding it hard to think what to write at the moment as I feel like I am going though a writers block. Anyway last night I found it hard to get to sleep, don’t know why, maybe I was thirsty or I had something on my mind, but I did eventually got to sleep at like towards 2am. About a hour or so later I hear this massive thud and a screaming sound. I woke up seriously confused what just happened. I dashed to my parents room and it turned out that my mom fainted. She didn’t know where she was or what was going on around her. The fainting is all due to her having this kidney disease that her blood pressure is very low. I don’t want to be posting her personal life on her but that what happened. Anyway, that meant that I hardly had any sleep.
In the morning my phone was ringing but it was my mom calling me as a alarm clock, I slept though my actual alarm clock again. I looked at the time and panicked I wouldn’t have enough time to get up, and was very tried. I chatted to my mom and she was trying to do things she wasn’t meant to be doing, trying to dash around. I got really concerned for her and told her to get to bed. Just as well she got back as she did as could hardly breath. Anyway, I can’t really post more about that as my mom deserves not to have her life on here.
But it turned out that even though as much I wanted to go to college, I seriously was needed at home and also there was the fact that I looked like a zombie from lack of sleep. I already tried walking to college half asleep and I nearly got run over. I just couldn’t confederate with that much lack of sleep. So I decided that I sleep in till the time the nurse arrives and take it from there.
I needed to contact the college that I wasn’t coming in, so I searched in my bag for my college id. It wasn’t in the front pocket. So I looked in the rest of the bag. I then thought to myself, ‘Oh bugger, that card have all the contact details on it’. I then remembered that I sent a text before to the college, so looked at my phone and it was there. The problem was that the phone didn’t allow me to edit that message unless I forwarded it. This meant that I had to write the phone number on to my hand and then re-enter it all. I had the wrong teacher name on it but I just went along with it as I couldn’t be brothered to go though anything else like that today.
I had the task of getting myself breakfast. I was thinking eggy bread but there was a problem. They was nothing stocked in the place. My mom used to do all the shopping and she can’t now. I had to wait till lunchtime for my dad to arrive at lunchtime so I could eat something. He gave me a werid look when he did arrive and was like ‘Why you looking at me like this?’. It turned out that the hand I was resting on was the same one I written the number on and it was all over my face. I wish he just said that though.
Anyway, I am about to get myself dinner and then I am tidying my room. If I have lost that college id, I think that I will be murdered by the college. No jokes.
In the morning I woke up in a dazed fashion and once I managed to find my glasses and my phone, I thought to myself dammm. I thought this because the time was 8:30 and college started in half an hour. I didn’t panic though as I wasn’t feeling great after speaking too honestly to someone the night before after having been encouraged it might of been a good idea. I was feeling a tad upset still if I am going to be honest again.If I was to say I regret something I said, last night would be the prime example. I won’t be telling you about last night though as its too personal. If you are lucky enough to be following me on twitter, you will have to work it out yourself.
Anyway less about last night, what happened today? I in the end managed to arrive early to college because of super ill super mom gave me a lift. It felt strange as after all did wake up late and also because I only had enough time before I left to quickly wash and change clothes. Not eat or drink.
I had a good day really, I did end up having a laugh during the breaktimes but wasn’t didn’t feel as happy as I did the past few days. I love how everybody bonded really well in my group. Its a different bond to how it was last year. It hard to say about it. Everybody gets on but I suppose nobody gives advice about assignments as they did last year. I don’t think I be winning the award for team leader this year because of how things are with the group. I often don’t get picked by the others for groups anymore.
Assignments are a nightmare for me right now. I hope I can catch up. I am dreading tomorrow because of this. If I mention it, I will get someone watching me work and asking me loads of questions on if I did this or that which really annoys me. I don’t want that. Makes me feel quite small if anyone does that to me. But they are being kind and taking their time to help me so I don’t have the courage to tell them to go away.
I have a bad day today and its hard to feel postive about anything that happened today. It started badly and now I have seriously messed up badly after being honest to somebody. I said before that I need to be honest with people. I still agree that you should. But maybe you should judge things more before you say something you might regret or wait around for a a better moment.
Why I did I admit my feelings for someone? I am well embarrassed now and don’t know if I will have the guts to use Skype ever again. If I waited it could of been something and its not going to happen now.
I had a terrible day and this have now happened. I don’t know if I will even turn up tomorrow. I really want to forget the past nights I had been chatting as I just will get upset I ruined it. I was really nervous and took loads of courage to say it. I hope that the hurting I am currently feeling goes in the morning. I am a stupid person sometimes. I feel like the guy that people like as a mate but nothing else.
