Posted 18 Feb 2010 — by eddieh
Category Life
I posted this on my Tumblr first and decided that it suited my blog as well. I also like to say that I am sory that I havent been spending much time on here.
Before you get annoyed with this post, I haven’t wrote thinking that I know it all, I just want to note it down for myself for when I am feeling negative again at college. I just hope you realise it depression bringing you down and you just blaming things such as assignments or people in your course. I need to remind myself that I was going though a period that one day I really loved everybody and the next I hated everyone and thought everyone was ignoring me. Anyway..
Two weeks ago was the first time that teachers yelled their heads off at me at the college which was a shock to me. Whilst I don’t approve one of the methods that was classifed as bullying (that the tutor, no surprise being rather friendly from now on), the other methods that didn’t involve attacking or forcing me to write stuff really did make me smell the coffee and somehow was the first step getting me out of this negative and depressing world that I was in.
On the day was a terrible day for me and I was in shock on what happened. I was posting on Facebook statuses that was very woe to me. And I thought that I messed up and couldn’t get back on track. But I went to Disneyland Paris and without intending to, I let go of my negativity there, I also made a promise to myself that I could do this. Every night, I was slightly kept up by thinking how I could do the assignments and when.
And now in the present, its half term and somehow I am up to date with everything. Now even though all the assignments somehow are finished doesn’t mean everything swell for me.
I am dreading doing English when I return back. I fucked it up three times now. Last time was more gutting as I was so close. I hope I can find something in me to get this grade. I know that everyone is judging me and having their eyes me on about this. If I fuck it up again, I will sadden loads including myself. It doesnt help knowing that they are shoving me into a overcrowded group due to the peaceful one not suiting my timetable. I hope things go okay.
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Posted 27 Dec 2009 — by eddieh
Category Life
I thought I would post a quick post as I haven’t done one for you guys for a couple of days. First thing I would like to mention is that I am chuffed that this blog is inspiring others to blog themselves or reflect on their lifestyles and the way they lead it. I am mentioning this after having conversations with various people that I have connections to. I would want to thank a guy called Ian and my sister for me to get into blogging. For Ian, I have lost contact with him and his blog I believe is no longer around but he is the person who inspired me to do blog posts myself. I think I first got in contact with him though this strange MSN Messenger robot thing but my memories fading away about that. Anyway I think he had a Livejournal and I decided to create one myself. I found my sister’s Livejournal at one point and that also made me think about doing it myself. From that it evolved into this. So thanks to them and anyone else that maybe got me to this point in the blogging world.
I suppose I should say something about Christmas. I loved having all the family together as I haven’t seen some family members for months, the presents was a nice bonus extra. On the day, I felt that my dad was at times saying remarks that wound me up alittle but that all I am going to mention here as thinking about it winds me up. I was annoyed that a game I brought as a present didn’t work after all the effort I put in to getting it. Shit happens though and you just have to move with the times as the saying goes.
I think that I could wish for many things in my life but I learnt something. Aiming for things is okay as it only drives you forward to get the goal you want but you not going to get it if you sulk and get all sad that you haven’t yet got it. I know sometimes you have no choice but to be upset but when you have a choice to just keep going, I am going to take it. I have been really worn down in recent months with events with health in the family but as the family health improves, the more I feel happier and in focus as I was before. I am not sure if that makes any sense as I am writing this half one in the morning but if it does have the meaning I meant it to have, its all good.
I hoped to do a year review like I did before once but I am unsure that I will manage to do it before new year. I still have some overdue assignments left that I need to fit in so I will be doing them when I can. I am looking forward for tomorrow and I hope I won’t have the same boredom and loneliness I had today.